If I Die

I had not seen much of love before,
She came in and I needed nothing more.
My drifting life had changed forever:
It began to become quite a bit better.
But that was not what I had thought
It was only a dream, which came to naught.
She never wishes to know me well,
Indifference is her favorite spell.
She gets all my letters, but replies only some,
She knows all my pain but addresses none.
I wish to make her happy but never succeed
She has better people around to fulfill her need.
I never realize my worth for her,
I feel that to her I am just a blur.
To write me back is just a chore,
All my letters do nothing but make her sore.
My gifts rest in her trash can,
Letters thrown on roof have turned tan.
Care, fret that keep me awake at night
Are often rewarded by her profound slight.
I know, despite all the love I give
Crazy things I do thoughts I live,
I know for sure that she won’t even cry,
If right at the moment I die.